Autumn

My quirky childhood disposition makes sense now. I'm adjusting to this realization. I hope you all will understand. I've been wearing the wrong shoes simply because they fit. That just doesn't satisfy me any longer.

I know I'm being vague and melodramatic, but I'll voice this to you soon enough.

Searching for a home

I've spent the last three hours on craigslist and similar sites trying to find a decent place to live. I had to force myself to stop. Eh, I'll certainly find somewhere before the summer ends.

I'm going to create a list of all the things I need to accomplish this summer. That should be fun.

Oh, lord. I'm boring.

At least I have Michael... "WOOO!"

Today will be great!

I just saw twins!

Where are the acorns?

I'm waiting for acorns to crush under my heels as I walk to class. Such a satisfying crunchy noise they make.

The rule of incremental small successes and new meds are the things that'll pull me out of this mental rut. I'm a list-maker, but I've also got to prevent my list from growing exponentially. I'm a bullet-pointer, too. With every bullet point I pair up with an action, another lone bullet appears underneath. I'm always pressed to give it a purpose. It's a vicious cycle.

I'm moving out or getting my own room. This isn't really about her anymore. Well, lots of it has to do with the way I feel about her. I'm moving out 'cause I need my own space. I need my sanctuary. Unfortunate truth is that I'd need to find the funds to do so. I've got enough to get by for these last few days. That's all.

But what am I without my own space? I feel set aside everywhere I am. Always scooting over for someone, taking down my Jesus hand cross for someone else, or "decluttering" shelves for another.

A tiny space. A quaint place. I need a new home.

PSSSH PEACE OUT

Life Without Direction

Heading in one direction won't work for very long. I'm letting go, hon.